September 22, 2017... That day is the day I met a guy in a bar. He was very handsome and adorable, but I didn't think that almost a year later I'd be getting ready to move in with him. I was not in the best relationship previously and it broke my spirit a bit. I almost just gave in and got back together with my ex just out of a fear of being alone. If I would have done that it would have been a huge mistake for many reasons.
It's been almost a year that me and my boyfriend have been together and I would not change anything about our lives. We have had a couple moments where I've gotten annoyed, just as surely he's gotten annoyed with me a time or two. Even though that happens sometimes we are still utterly happy with each other. He has had a hugely positive impact on my life, and has just helped motivate me to be a better person.
I love who I am again, and it has a lot to do with the fact that he sees me for who I am. I lost a part of me for a long time and I always felt a little disconnected. When he came along I had decided to stop looking for a man, to stop trying to date, and just refocus. That lasted about 2 weeks and then I walked into a bar with a friend and left that night not realizing I met the love of my life. The future is very uncertain but I am certain of one thing and that is how much I love this man. He has seen me at my absolute worst and accepted that. He has seen my past for what it is and he's made me feel loved and wanted every day that we are together.
In 20 days I will have met him a year ago and that is a very big deal for me. I wasn't happy in my last relationship. I fooled myself into thinking I was happy, but toward the end I just couldn't fake it anymore. I let him just take control and I just lived a lie when I was with him. I never felt comfortable being myself around him, and always had to put on an act. I think we are truly just better apart and breaking up with him was not a mistake. I could have probably handled the actual break up better, but it just went on way too long and I was done long before the actual relationship ended. I was ready to move on and I had to do what was right for me. I didn't feel special or wanted, I felt like if I stayed in that relationship I would end up regretting it.
Then just a couple months later I was just hooked with one look. I had a good few weeks of just going out and "dating" but it was not me. I gave up and said that it I'm done, but then I turned around one day and he was there. I blinked and my life just changed for the better. A huge piece of me has been missing for about 6 years now, and my man has mended that broken piece of me. I never thought I would feel whole again, and some days I still don't, but he makes me feel like I can do anything. He makes me feel like no matter what I do he isn't going anywhere and I believe him.
I could honestly go on and on about how much my life has changed, but then this post would be entirely too long and mushy. I have no regrets about anything because I can't change how anything went down. I met the person I am meant to be with and that all happened when I got out of something not right, and was finally ready for a real healthy relationship. I love him more than I ever thought was possible and he is the ideal man for me.
He has been going after what he wants to further his career and what he is passionate about, which is why I decided to get back into writing. It is something I wish I never stopped doing, and something I'm really going to work on getting back into. I hope you follow along on this journey with me.
~Keep Dreaming and Scheming~
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